There was a time in my life, I went to live in Tel Aviv, because I thought it was the best thing in the world, since I was in love.
But this guy was such an unbearable piece of something (very hard to define it). Even though my nose grew longer and my penis started to look like a circumsized one, I wasn't Jewish enough for him! I wasn't American enough for him, but I was more like a Texan and too Israeli! Can you believe it?
So he broke up with that Greek one, cos he was too Loud... (im using the third tense refering to my own self, cos that's what paranoid people do...)
A greek boy perfectly adapted to the hard boiling Israeli culture... Too good to be true!
However now, he is sending me old pics of mine, like this one, asking me why im not cute and kind anymore!
Can you believe his nerve? (Read that with a Very English accent)
Broke my heart, took my soul to Hades (at least I 've met my maker) made happiness an unreachable place (well as his dad said:"grass is always greener on the other side!")
But i finally managed to take my revenge, I stood on my two feet, (even though i broke my left one and stayed on bed for more than a month-thank god now I walk again) and you know what people?
Finally his mom, came to a point and said to him
<<He was good, you should have keep that one!>>
He finally gets it now! After all these horrible experiences with pretentious guys he met. And if not my looks, (Im definitely better now and my nose got Christian again) at least now he recognises my amazing dynamic personality, a very rare case, ask any doctor! My mouth is always honest and if not my tongue, then my face expressions always are!
He appreciates now, that we are apart, my multiple annoying educational questions, as well as my unique sarcastic sense of humour, my spicy yet devastating insults (for those with low self esteem).
I was such a delight, a real edutainment!
Now he knows, but he lives in NYC. SUCKER!
A place where rich people live on the basement, while the actual living room fully furnished with expensive antiques is full of dust, and the artbooks upon the table are still on the same spot, a person left them three years ago!
Bitch I'm #Madonna
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